


And Time Again

by Amethystina



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Almost everything I can tag this with would mean spoiling the plot, And definitely not as angsty as you probably think, But rest assured:, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, So I just won't, Someone give Bucky a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 08:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21033113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/pseuds/Amethystina
Summary: When Bucky starts acting strange — well, stranger thanusual— Tony notices right away. Their friendship might still be new, but he likes to think that he's gotten to know Bucky pretty well by then. The problem is that Bucky doesn't want to tell Tony what's wrong, even when he asks. He dodges Tony's questions, saying everything is fine.But the way Bucky keeps looking at Tony — as if he expects him to disappear the moment he turns his back — says otherwise.And Tony is determined to get to the bottom of what'sreallygoing on.





	And Time Again

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote about 7 500 words of this over a month ago (in the same day, no less), then promptly forgot all about it. Eventually, I found it again and figured I'd write the remaining 3 500 words because it's actually not bad. And now I'm kicking it out the door before I regret deciding to post it. Yolo, and all that.
> 
> It wouldn't surprise me if someone has already written a fic like this, but I haven't read it, sooo yeah. See it as my take on it, if you like.
> 
> Enjoy!

On average, Tony would consider himself a pretty observant person. There were things he missed, of course — birthdays, for an example, as Pepper would no doubt point out — but, for the most part, he paid attention to the things happening around him. Gathering data sort of came with the genius gig, even if Tony had a tendency to only keep the information he found useful. And, since 'useful' was very subjective and differed from situation to situation, it was understandable if some details were occasionally lost amongst the magnitude of impressions Tony processed on a daily basis.

He was a busy man, after all.

Other times, his mind would latch on to facts and impressions with a tenacity that surprised even him. It was impossible to predict what detail would catch his attention — or when — but it was quite useful, both as an inventor and an Avenger. It meant he found flaws and solutions without even trying, most of them coming to him instinctively based on observations he'd made minutes — sometimes even years — earlier.

Someone of a more spiritual persuasion would perhaps call that a 'sixth sense,' whereas Tony knew it was simply a matter of paying attention. Well, that and an ability to add it all together and get something useful out of the information. More often than not, that was the difficult part. Sometimes — _frustrating_ times — Tony would be able to tell that _something_ was off or about to happen, but he couldn't say why, how, or when.

Like the morning he turned around in the communal kitchen and, suddenly, found himself face to face with everyone's favorite seasonal soldier.

Admittedly, Tony's first reaction was to choke on a highly undignified squeak, quickly followed by his heart leaping into his throat. It was partly the surprise but, more so than that, the way Bucky was looking at him.

At the start of their acquaintance — which had been tumultuous by anyone's standards — Tony had mostly been given guarded glares or, sometimes, guilty glances. Which, considering the circumstances, had been understandable. Moving into the tower belonging to the person whose parents you murdered was bound to stir up a couple of conflicting emotions. Tony hadn't blamed Bucky for giving him a wide berth, but had also been terribly grateful the day he stopped.

It had taken months of therapy and reassurance, involving a lot of gentle — and not-so-gentle — nudging from Tony, but had been worth it in the end. Especially when Bucky relaxed enough to actually start _talking_ to Tony without looking like he might break apart from the guilt. The process had been slow but, eventually, Bucky had even started to respond to Tony's teasing with jokes of his own, delivered with a twitch of a smile in a sarcastic, deadpan voice that never failed to make Tony grin.

To Tony's infinite delight, Bucky turned out to be _gloriously_ snarky.

Over the months since Bucky's arrival, the two of them had become cautiously civil, followed by tentatively amiable, and, currently, increasingly friendly. Tony wouldn't call them close, exactly, but it hadn't passed him by that Bucky often accepted the open invitation to join Tony in his workshop the evenings when nightmares made it impossible to sleep. Or that Bucky, of his own volition, picked the seat next to Tony during movie nights and gravitated toward him during conversations. Seeing that always left Tony feeling a thrill of accomplishment and if he happened to smile at Bucky a bit more often than he perhaps should, well, that was his business.

So, despite the odds and the minefield of history between them, Tony would say that he and Bucky were on pretty good terms.

The look on Bucky's face when Tony turned around was therefore a bit of a surprise. It wasn't hostile, per se — Tony had seen what Bucky looked like when murder was about to happen and this wasn't it — but it was intense in a way Tony wasn't used to. Usually, Bucky's gaze would linger on Tony the _exact_ amount of seconds that was polite, almost as if Bucky was counting down inside his head and made sure to look away before things could become awkward.

This was the complete opposite.

Bucky was _staring_, his face expressionless but alert. The look was almost unnerving enough to make Tony take a step back, but, as was so often the case when it came to challenges, Tony just ended up staring right back.

"Terminator," he greeted, pretending not to notice the slight waver in his voice. Tony's heart wasn't what it used to be and was currently beating almost painfully fast inside his chest. He wasn't fond of surprises. "Fancy seeing you here."

Bucky continued to stare silently for a couple of seconds — which did nothing to ease the awkwardness — before he replied, his voice surprisingly gentle. It didn't match his expression at all.

"Mornin'."

Then, as if the conversation wasn't already weird enough, Bucky held out a cup of coffee toward Tony.

That in itself wasn't the strange part. Bucky often brought Tony coffee or food when he got too wrapped up in a project to remember it himself, but Bucky had never ambushed him in the kitchen before. Usually, food and drinks materialized in front of Tony down in the workshop, together with a firm suggestion from Bucky that he should eat it at his earliest convenience. That was to say, right away. The 'suggestion' always sounded more like a threat than anything else and, so far, Tony hadn't quite dared to disobey.

Tony glanced down at the coffee — which looked perfectly normal — before accepting the cup. He was more confused than anything, but he couldn't ignore the trickle of wariness.

Bucky was behaving oddly — more oddly than usual.

"What brought this on?" Tony asked, seeing as he could just as well have poured it himself. He had been about to, in fact, but Bucky had somehow managed to beat him to it — completely soundlessly, at that.

Finally, Bucky smiled, showing a flicker of the warmth Tony had grown used to seeing on his face. There was still something wrong with his eyes, though — a hint of apprehension and something confusingly close to grief.

"'Cus I wanted to," Bucky replied softly — reverently, almost.

Tony had never heard Bucky speak to him like that before and couldn't help that his heart skipped a treacherous — and telling — beat. A hopeful spark flared to life in Tony's chest, despite his best attempts to smother it.

Now wasn't the time for that. There would _never_ be a time for that.

He knew better than to delude himself.

"Well, I'm not going to complain," Tony said, trying to pretend that he was, in fact, in complete control of the situation.

That was a lie, though. He had no idea what was going on or what to do about it, only that Bucky was different, somehow. The difference wasn't so glaring that Tony would suspect body snatchers, but _something_ had definitely changed. Tony could see it in the way Bucky carried himself and how he looked at Tony — as if he was more interested in memorizing Tony's face than discreetly look away like he usually would.

Bucky was also standing a lot closer than he would otherwise choose to do — close enough to send a tingle down Tony's spine and leave him just a little bit breathless.

Which was foolish, Tony told himself, but his body didn't seem to want to listen to reason.

Bucky wasn't helping in the least. He was still staring, intense and with purpose, while wearing a smile that could only be described as _tender_. There was a hint of sadness to it that Tony didn't understand, but he wasn't sure if Bucky would reply even if he asked.

The moment held, long enough that it should have become awkward, but Tony was too distracted by the curling warmth in his chest to really pay attention. He certainly noticed when Bucky subtly shifted closer, though, pushing into Tony's personal space. Suddenly, Tony became aware of the tension in the air, vibrating in the narrow space between them. He would have written it off as his own imagination — or wishful thinking, more like — if it hadn't been for the look of absolute concentration Bucky's face.

He was fully aware of what he was doing — whatever that might be.

Tony told himself he should take a step back. He wasn't nearly as sure of what was happening as Bucky seemed to be, which left him with the disorienting feeling of trying and failing to understand the situation. That wasn't a position Tony found himself in very often.

One moment, he had been standing in the kitchen, trying to figure out why Bucky was behaving so oddly, and, in the next, the man in question was looking at Tony like he was the single most important being in the universe.

It was dizzying, quite frankly.

Eventually, the only conclusion that made sense to Tony was that he must be imagining things. Bucky was _not_ looking at Tony like he wanted to kiss him. He couldn't be. It was far too sudden. They were friends, definitely, but Bucky had never so much as _hinted_ about wanting something more.

Tony would know — he had been looking for it with a desperation bordered on pathetic.

But there was definitely _something_ in Bucky's eyes that hadn't been there before — something hot and fierce that made Tony's gut clench. The tension between them was thick enough that Tony barely managed to draw breath and, despite his feeble attempts to find excuses, he was inches from leaning in and kissing Bucky himself. They were standing close enough that Tony could feel the heat of Bucky's body — a thought which only made the prospect of a kiss all the more tempting.

Tony had almost managed to convince himself to go through with it when Bucky's gaze flicked to the clock above the kitchen doorway.

"_Fuck_," Bucky snapped, making Tony flinch. "I need to find Barton."

The sudden shift was jarring enough to almost give Tony whiplash.

"Uh, what?" Tony replied unintelligently.

A wave of coldness spread through him when Bucky took a step back, holding up his hands. The gesture was probably meant to be placating, but, coupled with Bucky's retreating steps, it mostly looked like he was trying to make a run for it without Tony trying to stop him.

Not that Tony would.

"'m sorry, but I really have to go," Bucky said urgently.

He _did_ look genuinely regretful, but that didn't thaw the chill that had settled inside Tony's ribcage. Had Bucky figured out what Tony had been inches away from doing? Was that why he suddenly made up some crappy excuse to be able to leave?

As much as that thought hurt — the sting of rejection always did — Tony supposed he should be grateful. Bucky had just averted a minor disaster. What had Tony been thinking? He couldn't _kiss_ Bucky. He had never before been given any indication that Bucky wanted that and, considering how desperately the notoriously fearless assassin clearly wanted to flee the kitchen, that hadn't changed.

The chill was replaced by embarrassment and Tony thanked his lucky star that he wasn't the kind to blush — at least Bucky wouldn't see just how mortified Tony felt.

"I just— I need—"

That was ineloquent, even for the somewhat taciturn Bucky.

"Yeah, sure," Tony said, managing to paste on a smile, even if it was the practiced one he usually reserved for the press. "You run along."

Bucky winced, but only lingered a second longer before he turned around and hurried out of the kitchen.

Wow.

That was definitely a first. Tony was well aware that not everyone liked him, but no one had actually run away from him before.

Tony rubbed his free hand over his eyes and let out a tired sigh. He had no idea what had just happened. If not for the steaming coffee cup in his hand, he would have tried to write it off as a particularly vivid hallucination — that would have been easier on his pride, if nothing else.

"What a fucking start to my morning," Tony mumbled, ignoring the lingering pinch of hurt that had settled somewhere near the vicinity of his heart.

He wasn't sure what had come over him, but, in hindsight, it was probably a good thing that Bucky had interrupted them. Kissing Bucky — a _team member_ — would no doubt complicate things beyond what was fixable, especially since Bucky didn't really seem up for it, despite whatever mixed signals he was sending out.

Tony sighed again and looked up at the ceiling.

"JARVIS, make a note. I'm not allowed to kiss Bucky Barnes."

"I shall put it with the rest of your statements involving Sergeant Barnes?" JARVIS asked politely — a little _too_ politely. "Right below the one about the beauty of his smile."

"Smartass," Tony muttered sullenly, taking a sip of his coffee in an attempt to avoid having to give a proper answer — there wasn't a good one to give.

Tony wasn't surprised to find that the coffee Bucky had given him was exactly the way he wanted it.

Bucky was far too perfect for it not to be.

* * *

It wasn't like Tony had _planned_ to fall in love with Bucky Barnes.

Even he could tell that was a terribly stupid and inconvenient thing to do — not to mention embarrassing. Tony was far too old and jaded to even _consider_ a relationship with someone like Bucky who, aside from the brainwashing and involuntary mass murder, was a kind, loyal, and altogether standup guy. The odds of Bucky looking twice at Tony were, at best, slim to none. The man clearly had better things to do with his time.

Besides, just being friends with Bucky was in no way a bad thing. The parts Tony appreciated the most about Bucky — his sense of humor, his caring nature, his resilience — weren't aspects you only got to experience while in a romantic relationship with him. Heck, every once in a while, Tony even got a hug or two, which was usually the highlight of his day. Sure, he would _also_ like to know what it felt like to kiss Bucky, but Tony could make do.

Pining away in silence wasn't _fun_, of course, but it was better than accidentally ruining a perfectly good friendship — one Tony treasured a lot more than he thought he would. Even if it hadn't taken him long to forgive Bucky for what he had done — he wasn't really the one to blame, after all — Tony still hadn't expected to actually _like_ the man.

Much less fall in love with him.

But that was just Tony's luck, he supposed. And it wasn't like he didn't get _why_. Bucky was an amazing person and, as a bonus, sinfully attractive. He also made Tony laugh, brought him food and coffee, and treated Tony's bots with a patient fondness that might or might not make Tony's heart squeeze every time he saw them together.

Could anyone really blame him for falling in love?

It wasn't convenient in the least, but maybe not entirely unexpected, either. In the long run, that didn't really matter, however. At this stage, it was more a matter of Tony dealing with it to the best of his abilities.

Usually, that wasn't all that difficult. Bucky tended to be just a little bit tentative and withdrawn, giving everyone a wide berth. That made it a lot easier not to succumb to the various impulses Tony experienced on a daily basis. Like the one urging him to run his fingers through Bucky's hair, or the one telling him that burying his face against Bucky's neck and just _inhaling_ would be a wonderful idea, or — not to forget the classics — leaning in to kiss him.

As tempting as all of that was, Tony had never even come _close_ to actually doing any of it, simply because Bucky hadn't shown that he wanted that kind of attention. It was one thing for Bucky to sit close to Tony on the couch during movie nights or give him the occasional hug, but another entirely to kiss him out of the blue.

Or, at least it would have been, until that moment in the kitchen that morning.

At first, Tony had been sure he had scared Bucky off, but, the more Tony thought about it, the more he started questioning that assumption. _Bucky_ was the one who had stepped closer. _He_ was the one who had leaned in first, not Tony. And the look in his eyes — the intense, burning stare — had to have meant something.

What, Tony couldn't say for sure, but he was definitely going to find out. He was far too curious not to.

Something was up with Bucky Barnes and Tony wanted to know what.

* * *

The second clue that something odd was going on came not from Bucky himself, but Clint.

Considering Bucky's hasty retreat earlier, Tony couldn't help wanting to know exactly what had been so important. As far as Tony knew, Bucky and Clint were on pretty good terms, sure, but the urgency on Bucky's face had had a hint of panic to it, which was definitely unusual.

When Tony eventually found Clint, sprawled out on the couch on his assigned floor, Tony was rewarded with fewer answers than he would like. If anything, he just ended up with more questions.

Some were answered right away, like why Clint had an icepack on his right shoulder — a bad fall during archery practice — and what Bucky had wanted from him — to join him during said practice.

When Tony asked why Bucky had been so adamant about being there, Clint shrugged — with a pained wince — and replied that he had no idea. What he _could_ say, however, was that if Bucky _hadn't_ been there, he would probably have ended up with a dislocated shoulder instead of just a slightly bruised one.

"So, as far as I'm concerned, it was a good thing he offered," Clint finished.

Tony had to agree, but that only left him with more questions. Bucky had acted as if he was late to a scheduled sparring session, but that clearly wasn't the case. And it wasn't like Bucky could have known that Clint would get hurt.

"Where is Bucky now?" Tony asked, figuring the easiest way to find out was to ask the man himself.

"Dunno," Clint replied. "He ran off once he'd made sure I wasn't dying."

Tony frowned. "Ran off where?"

Clint seemed to want to shrug again, but stopped himself in the last second.

"He didn't say." Clint tilted his head to the side, looking deceptively laidback. Tony knew all too well that Clint wasn't nearly as stupid and inattentive as he pretended to be. "Why? What's it to you?"

Tony wasn't sure if he wanted to answer that question, mostly because he wasn't sure _how_ without making himself sound like an idiot. He had a feeling something was wrong, sure, but he had no real evidence to support that. Not yet, at least.

"I'll get back to you on that," Tony therefore replied, before turning to head toward the elevator.

"If you find him, tell him thank you from me," Clint called. "He disappeared before I had the chance to."

Tony didn't bother to turn around, instead giving Clint a haphazard wave over his shoulder.

"Will do."

First, Tony had to actually _find_ Bucky, however, and he had a feeling that would be easier said than done.

* * *

Tony was absolutely right.

Usually, Bucky spent most of his time in the tower, either in the gym, with Steve, or, on some days, with Tony in the workshop. Today, however, he had left the tower shortly after training with Clint and, three hours later, still hadn't returned.

Tony couldn't help wondering if Bucky was avoiding him, but quickly shut down that train of thought. It was far too depressing.

A part of Tony wondered if he should go looking for the wayward sergeant, but, as JARVIS pointed out, Bucky seemed alive and well — if a bit erratic. According to the GPS in his phone, Bucky didn't stay in one place longer than a couple of minutes at a time, and there was no clear pattern to where he went and when. There was nothing outright _wrong_ with that, just unusual and slightly troubling.

So, with some reluctance, Tony refrained and went back to work. Mostly because he wasn't sure what he would say to Bucky if he actually _did_ find him. The good sergeant was wary on a good day and paranoid on his bad ones, so Tony's spying probably wouldn't go over all that well. He would simply have to wait until Bucky came home, whenever that would be.

And, if Tony happened to throw a glance at the screen displaying Bucky's position every once in a while — just to make sure that Bucky was still there — JARVIS was kind enough not to point that out.

* * *

Tony jumped in surprise when a plate was put down next to him, pulling his attention away from his soldering. He looked up, feeling his heart skip a beat when he was met by Bucky's smile.

"Lunch," Bucky said, somewhat unnecessarily.

Tony had apparently been too wrapped up in his work to notice when Bucky returned to the tower. JARVIS must have, but Tony hadn't actually asked to be notified once Bucky did, and that was hardly JARVIS's fault. Considering the effort Tony had put into locating Bucky earlier, it was almost a little ironic that Bucky was the one to seek Tony out in the end.

But, more disorienting than that, was Bucky's continued disregard for personal space. He stood close enough that Tony's shoulder brushed against his chest, which didn't exactly increase Tony's chances of managing a decent reply. That small contact was enough to send a shiver down his spine and, despite having had hours to plan what to say once he saw Bucky again, Tony couldn't quite find the words.

Instead, Tony glanced down at the food — his favorite pizza from the place three blocks away, by the looks of it — then back up at Bucky. The smile was still on his lips, fond and indulgent in a way that was, frankly, like something straight out of Tony's fantasies.

"Well, late lunch," Bucky amended, as Tony put the soldering iron way.

There was still that hint of unnerving intensity in Bucky's eyes — as if he didn't want to look away from Tony, even for a second — but he didn't seem quite as desperate this time. He was still behaving oddly, though, with how close he was standing. Not that Tony _complained_, it was just a little sudden and thoroughly confusing.

Tony's prolonged silence made a concerned little wrinkle appear between Bucky's eyebrows.

"You're not hungry?" he asked, but his tone said he probably wouldn't believe Tony if he said no.

Not that Tony would. Now that he had a reason to pay attention, he realized he was famished — probably because he hadn't eaten breakfast, aside from the coffee Bucky had made him.

"I am." Tony smiled. "Thanks."

Bucky's shoulders lowered marginally, his smile returning. When he spoke, his voice held enough warmth to make Tony's breath catch.

"You're welcome."

How did Bucky _do_ that? With just a couple of words, he managed to send Tony's heart racing and reawaken the eager, hopeful flicker of delight in Tony's chest.

Bucky hadn't been like this yesterday. Kind and carefully affectionate, yes, but nowhere near this level. It was as if he had woken up that morning and decided that he was going to do his best to give Tony that long-overdue heart attack. Everything, from the way he spoke and moved, to the look in his eyes, seemed designed to push every single one of Tony's buttons.

And, much like that morning, Tony was scrambling to catch up.

"You make sure to eat it, okay?" Bucky said, his smile taking on a teasing hint.

The words made it obvious that Bucky wasn't going to stick around and make sure Tony did. For some reason, that thought sent a spark of panic through Tony. He couldn't explain why, but it probably had to do with the quiet concern that had been growing inside of him since their conversation in the kitchen. Something was definitely going on with Bucky today and it unnerved Tony that he didn't know what it was.

Perhaps he would be able to help? Tony was well aware that there were some things he couldn't fix — like lingering trauma from all the horrifying things Bucky had been through — but if it wasn't something more concrete, Tony had nearly limitless resources at his disposal. Surely there was _something_ he could do?

"What's going on with you today?"

Maybe Tony could have phrased that question more delicately, but, as was so often the case with him, he acted mostly on instinct.

Bucky's startled blink was more or less expected, but the blank look of confusion — bordering on fear — that followed was less so.

"What?" Bucky's voice was worryingly weak, hoarse and uncertain, as if Tony had asked him something he shouldn't.

That did nothing to calm the concern stirring inside Tony.

"You've been acting strange all day," Tony replied. He turned on his chair — as much as he could with Bucky standing so close — and looked up at him. "Is something wrong?"

Bucky didn't seem to know what to answer. He stared down at Tony in silence, but it was obvious that his thoughts were spinning. _Why_ Bucky felt so out of balance when Tony asked about his behavior was unclear, but there was no denying that he was hiding _something_.

"No," Bucky mumbled at last, "everythin's fine."

Tony pursed his lips. "It's actually kind of insulting that you think I'll fall for such a shitty lie."

There were times when Tony could be considerate and back off when Bucky didn't want him to pry, but this was not one of those times.

The look on Bucky's face said he sure wished it had been, though.

"I'm not—" Bucky seemed to have the sense not to finish that sentence, but, since he also took a step back — pulling away from Tony — that wasn't much of a victory.

Tony stood up from his chair and, throwing caution to the wind — mostly because of how Bucky had behaved all day — reached out and took a gentle hold of Bucky's metal wrist. It was partly to keep Bucky from retreating even further, but, more so than that, because Tony couldn't help feeling that physical touch would add weight to his words.

"What's wrong, Bucky?" he asked, softer this time.

Bucky swallowed and, for the first time that day, averted his gaze.

"It's nothin'."

That was clearly just another lie.

"It's _something_," Tony persisted. "I can _tell_ that there's something—"

"You don't wanna know," Bucky interrupted, sharply enough that most people probably would have flinched. Tony just calmly met Bucky's gaze when he looked up, raising a dubious eyebrow. Bucky grit his teeth. "I can't tell you, okay?"

That wasn't good enough.

"Why?"

"I just can't." Bucky shook his head and, with considerable gentleness, unwrapped Tony's fingers from around his wrist. Even if Tony might have wanted to hold on, he was no match for a super soldier. "Leave it alone."

Bucky held on to Tony's hand a couple of seconds longer than necessary, but Tony had no idea what that might mean.

"I can help," Tony said, gesturing between them. "I'm good at fixing things."

Bucky laughed, hoarse and completely lacking in actual joy, before running a hand through his hair. He suddenly looked tired, full of that same grief Tony had seen a hint of that morning.

"Not even you can fix this, Tony."

"Let me try." There weren't a lot of things Tony wouldn't do for his team members — Bucky in particular. "Or at least tell me what's going on."

Bucky shook his head. "I can't."

It was getting more and more difficult to hold back his frustration, but Tony knew that snapping wouldn't help.

"Bucky, you can't—"

"I have to go," Bucky announced, speaking right over Tony.

For a second, Tony wanted to get insulted, but that, too, would no doubt be pointless.

"Where?" he asked instead, his tone a little flatter than he had planned. Though Tony would argue it was understandable — Bucky's habit of running from conversations was beginning to get annoying.

That was Tony's thing.

"Out," was Bucky's uninformative reply, his gaze flicked to the clock displayed on one of Tony's screens. "I'll be back after dinner."

Dinner was _hours_ away and having to wait that long before getting answers didn't appeal to Tony in the least.

"You can't be serious."

But Bucky was already backing away so, clearly, he was.

"Eat your food," Bucky said, pointing at the pizza as if Tony was a stubborn child. "I'll see you tonight."

Tony spread his arms, his exasperation bleeding through. "Sure. You know where to find me. I wish I could say the same for you."

Bucky pressed his lips together, but didn't reply. With one last look at Tony, he turned and headed for the elevator. Tony watched him leave, teeth gritted and frustration growing.

Why wouldn't Bucky talk to him? The two of them might not be as close as Bucky and Steve were, but there was clearly something bothering Bucky. Didn't he trust Tony enough to at least tell him what it was?

Tony sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He was more worried than anything. He didn't like the haunted look that sometimes flashed across Bucky's face and how he kept rushing from one place to another. Why was Bucky pushing himself so hard? If he kept this up, he would run himself ragged before the day was over. There had to be a reason for why he was behaving this erratically.

After another sigh, Tony looked up at the ceiling, hands settling on his hips.

"JARVIS, I have a task for you."

"I am at your disposal, Sir," JARVIS replied dutifully.

"Go back and check the places Bucky visited before lunch." Tony frowned. "See what happened at those locations — if anything."

While Tony might not be able to figure out where Bucky was heading next, he could at least see what he had been up to until then. Tony was certain it was a vital part in unravelling what the hell Bucky was up to.

Sooner or later, Tony would figure it out.

* * *

Tony _did_ end up eating the pizza Bucky had brought, but only because it would be a waste not to.

* * *

At first, JARVIS found a whole lot of nothing. The majority of the locations Bucky had visited seemed completely random — a street corner, a subway station, a convenience store, and so on and so forth — with no explanation as to why he went there. It was only when JARVIS went through the social media feeds that things started making sense.

At one location, a tourist had — on accident — captured a video of Bucky rescuing a little boy from getting run over by a car. At another, Bucky had been seen helping during some kind of medical emergency. The more JARVIS searched, the more instances he found, some of them more dramatic than the others, but all of them good deeds that, one way or another, made a difference for the better — even saved lives, on some occasions.

That was a good thing, of course — saving lives was what the Avengers _did_ — but not on this scale or level. And they had certainly never shown up at the locations _before_ the crisis in question happened. Bucky did so on several occasions, as if he knew what was going to happen long before it actually did — just like with Clint's accident. He went purposefully from one place to the next, to where he was most needed, then left once the situation had been handled.

There were few logical explanations for that level of precision and Tony was far too well-versed in pop culture _not_ to jump to conclusions. He fought against it, of course, because there was no such thing as time loops or magic or any of that other stuff that couldn't be proved by science — no matter what Thor might say — but he wasn't sure how else to explain it.

How else would Bucky know where to go? How else would he, time and time again, get there just in the nick of time to save someone from a horrible fate?

Tony supposed that would also explain why Bucky was behaving so differently. Being caught in a time loop could no doubt make anyone look haunted and desperate, and Bucky's sudden habit of standing too close made a lot more sense. Tony had no way of knowing how many times Bucky might have lived through this day, but he had clearly grown closer to Tony during them — close enough that Bucky looked at Tony as if he was the beginning and end of his world.

For a split second, Tony felt a flare of jealousy, which would have made a lot more sense if he hadn't been jealous of _himself_. A past version of himself, even, who didn't even exist anymore.

"This is such a mess," Tony mumbled, before waving away the video of Bucky saving the little boy.

The next question, of course, was what Tony could do to help — if anything. It was clear that Bucky didn't want to talk about what was going on, probably to avoid sounding like a lunatic, but, now that Tony had figured it out on his own, that shouldn't be a problem.

Unless that would limit the odds of breaking the time loop, of course.

This might not be the first time Tony had figured it out. He could have done it countless times before, without even knowing. Just like there was no way for him to remember what he had decided to do about it — all of that was lost once the loop reset.

Tony chose to assume that his initial reaction must have been the same as it had been now— wanting to help, probably by talking it through with Bucky. That seemed like the appropriate approach, but, considering that the time loop wasn't broken yet, it couldn't have been. Odds were that Tony had already tried it and it hadn't worked.

He needed to do something else — something that went against his usual impulses that he might not already have tried.

Granted, Tony had no idea exactly what Bucky was expected to accomplish and if it was even possible for him to help, but he couldn't just sit by and watch. It went against every instinct in Tony's body to—

"_Fucking hell_."

Tony placed a hand over his eyes and let out a slow, frustrated exhale. That couldn't be it. Whatever cosmic power was at play couldn't seriously expect him to twiddle his thumbs while Bucky was caught in a time loop.

Or maybe Tony was getting ahead of himself. He might not even be a part of the equation. What he did might have no effect, whatsoever, on Bucky's predicament. Tony shouldn't assume it did, just because Bucky looked at him as if he was currently the only firm point in his clearly messed up existence. That might not mean anything.

Except, deep down, Tony was pretty sure it did.

Would it hurt to try and do things differently? Not so much that Tony wasn't being himself, of course, but just enough to change the course of the day, if only in a small way. That would of course be easier if Tony had known what he had already tried, but he would simply have to improvise. Tony was good at that.

And, with some luck, he would be able to help Bucky break the time loop.

* * *

According to Bucky, he and Tony would see each other again sometime after dinner, presumably in Tony's workshop. So, naturally, Tony made sure _not_ to be in the workshop. That wasn't just because Tony had decided to do things he usually wouldn't, but because he had realized that, if the time loop wasn't broken, the work he did was pointless anyway.

He might as well take the evening off.

So, instead of reviewing the suit schematics, Tony sat down with his phone in the communal living room and caught up on all the videos involving Bucky's heroics he hadn't seen yet. Unsurprisingly, the good sergeant had become quite popular as the day passed and was trending on several platforms. Hopefully, when the loop was broken, all of these videos would still exists, since it would no doubt do wonders for Bucky's public image.

By then, the official stance was that Bucky shouldn't be held responsible for the crimes he had committed while brainwashed, but people were still understandably wary of him from time to time. Even Tony could admit that the Winter Soldier was intimidating, and that was really all the public had seen before — at least until now. These videos were all Bucky and, judging by the comments, people were beginning to see what they had been missing out on.

"Sir, Sergeant Barnes had entered the workshop," JARVIS informed. He was ordered to do so on all instances when someone went inside the workshop when Tony wasn't there — even if the person had been given a password, like Bucky.

Tony nodded in confirmation, but didn't move to get up. He had been right, then. Bucky hadn't even stopped by the communal floors before heading for Tony's workshop, assuming that was where he would be. Bucky would no doubt realize his mistake soon enough.

Just under three minutes later, the elevator doors slid open to reveal a frantic-looking Bucky.

He had barely stepped out of the elevator before he spotted Tony on the couch and froze in place. The fear in Bucky's eyes made it clear that this was the first time Tony had deviated from the routine to this extent. Bucky hadn't expected Tony to be anywhere else but his workshop and it had scared him when things suddenly weren't the same as all the other times.

Bucky's next words — spoken like an accusation — confirmed it.

"You weren't in your workshop."

"Was I supposed to be?" Tony asked innocently, tilting his head to the side.

He still wasn't convinced that not telling Bucky that he knew about the time loop was the best course of action, but, for now, Tony would bide his time.

Bucky opened his mouth, but hesitated a couple of seconds before he actually replied.

"No, I just assumed you might be." Bucky sounded confused, frowning as he spoke.

Tony enjoyed that a little more than he probably should. It wasn't that he liked seeing Bucky disoriented and out of his depth, but rather that Tony had managed to change enough that Bucky, for once, didn't know what to expect. Hopefully, that also meant they could make some kind of progress.

"I guess I'm not as predictable as you think," Tony replied teasingly.

That startled a laugh out of Bucky. He shook his head, his smile helpless but fond.

"Yeah, fuck knows why I thought you would be," Bucky mumbled.

Despite the smile, Bucky looked tired and, for a brief second, Tony almost asked him if he was okay. He bit it back in the last moment, though, because he knew Bucky would lie and say he was, simply because he couldn't tell Tony why he _wasn't_. It was better to spare them both the awkwardness.

"We can go there, though, if you want?" Tony offered, well aware that Bucky had started viewing it as a bit of a safe haven. He relaxed in ways he didn't in other parts of the tower. Tony had already made his point about not doing as he usually would, so it was probably safe to return to the workshop now.

Bucky didn't answer right away, clearly unsure how to proceed now that they weren't following the usual route. Eventually, he nodded. If that was because he preferred to be in the workshop or because he was attempting to steer them back on track was impossible to tell, but Tony would accept it either way.

"Alright," Tony said, tucking his phone away, "let's go."

He pushed to his feet and looked expectantly at Bucky, his heart skipping a beat when he was met by a soft, fond smile. It would have been perfect if not for the lingering hint of sadness in Bucky's eyes.

Tony's throat constricted and he vowed, then and there, that he would do everything he could to help Bucky escape the time loop. That might be difficult seeing as Tony wouldn't even remember this once the day reset, but he would figure something out. He always did.

He wasn't called a genius for nothing.

* * *

Tony hadn't expected Bucky to stay in the workshop longer than an hour, at the most. New York was a busy city, after all, and there were surely people in need of saving, but, for one reason or another, Bucky stayed.

Not that Tony complained. Despite the frequent smiles he gave Tony, Bucky looked _exhausted_, and it was probably not just from running back and forth all day. Tony couldn't even imagine what kind of emotional and psychological toll the time loop was taking on Bucky. To relive the same day, over and over, and only being able to change small things had to be excruciating.

Tony wasn't sure he would manage, had their roles been reversed.

Not for the first time, Tony debated telling Bucky that he knew about the time loop. Perhaps it would ease Bucky's pain if he could talk to someone about it? Tony might not be the best at giving emotional support, but he was willing to give it a try.

On the other hand, perhaps Bucky didn't _want_ to talk about it. He looked surprisingly content as he played fetch with DUM-E. Perhaps what he needed was a safe place where he could pretend everything was normal, if only for a little while? If they started talking about the time loop, it would be difficult to stop. Tony would want to pick everything apart in an attempt to find a solution, which wouldn't leave Bucky with a whole lot of time to relax.

Perhaps, for once, Tony should just _not_ meddle, if only to make sure that Bucky was able to keep smiling. It would be difficult, no doubt, but worth it.

In the end, Tony decided to do just that. He made sure to keep Bucky comfortable and happy, which now included maintaining a dramatically decreased physical distance. Bucky had never been tactile before, but now he seemed to crave closeness with an almost desperate fervor, and Tony was definitely not going to be the one to deny him. Sure, every touch made a shiver travel through Tony and he couldn't quite control the way his heart started racing, but that, too, was worth it to see Bucky's shoulders lose their tension.

Besides, it wasn't like Tony wasn't enjoying it — the problem was that he enjoyed it a little _too_ much.

To have Bucky's hand brush gently against his arm or settle at the base of his spine was an exquisite kind of torture, and Tony couldn't help leaning into it, every single time. That, in turn, only meant that Bucky kept touching him. It was as if he couldn't get enough, the subtle hint of desperation returning. Tony assumed it was because Bucky didn't know for sure when he'd get to have this next time. Tomorrow's Tony might not be as susceptible, depending on what conclusions he reached.

Tony's heart ached at the thought, partly because it was obvious that Bucky took so much comfort in their new closeness, but also because this was everything Tony wanted. He would have given practically anything to be able to keep this longer than just today.

Perhaps that was what eventually pushed Bucky over the edge. Perhaps he was just as desperate as Tony to keep this, for however long they were allowed. Perhaps he decided to take the chance when he had it.

Tony was standing in front of his screens, Bucky next to him, when there was a gentle tug on Tony's elbow. He didn't think much of it, turning to face Bucky, only to have his breath catch when their gazes met. Bucky looked _anguished_, but was still able to smile, somehow.

"I love you," he said, soft as a whisper.

Tony's entire world came to a sudden halt. He didn't dare to breathe, his heartbeats echoing in his ears, and he couldn't, for the life of him, think of anything to say.

He hadn't expected this. He wasn't sure how to _deal_ with this. He'd been able to tell that Bucky was very fond of him, sure, but he hadn't expected to be told _that_.

"You don't have so say anythin' back," Bucky hurried to add. "I just want to have it said before—"

Bucky cut himself off, his gaze briefly flicking down to the floor. He looked back up soon enough, the sadness still there in his eyes. He kept looking at Tony the same way he had all day — as if he was seeing him for the last time and wanted to treasure every second of it.

"I just wanted you to know."

Tony swallowed, trying to force his brain back into gear. It took more effort than he had expected, his mouth dry as he managed a feeble:

"You... love me?"

Without hesitation, Bucky nodded. "Yeah. I love you, Tony."

Tony had no idea what to reply. Love was a very strong word and while he didn't doubt his own feelings — he wouldn't have been running from them for months if he did — he wasn't sure if he was ready to admit to them out loud. Bucky _deserved_ to hear them, yes, but the thought of actually _saying_ that he loved Bucky terrified Tony.

Not even the knowledge that he wouldn't remember it after the time loop reset helped calm him.

It was clear that Tony had to do _something_, however. He couldn't just stand there and let Bucky believe that he had confessed his unrequited feelings to Tony. They might not be able to break the time loop right now, but Tony would hate for Bucky to have to go through the next couple of days thinking Tony didn't feel the same. Tony _did_ — and had for _months_ — he just hadn't known it was an option. He had thought that _Bucky_ wasn't interested. But, now that it was obvious that Bucky reciprocated, it felt stupid to let it go to waste.

Then again, perhaps this wasn't the first time they had done this. Maybe Bucky looked at Tony this way because they had already professed their love during one of the days Tony couldn't remember, and Bucky couldn't help wanting to have it again.

Not that it mattered. Tony was too selfish not to embrace the opportunity.

Before he had time to talk himself out of it, Tony reached up, framed Bucky's face with his hands, and pulled him down for a kiss. It wasn't the most graceful of kisses, Tony could admit, but he didn't care. The important part was that Bucky got some hope that, once the time loop was broken, Tony would be willing to give this a try.

To Tony's surprise, Bucky's initial reaction was to stiffen. He seemed completely taken aback by Tony's initiative and, with a jolt, Tony realized Bucky _hadn't_ done this before. He had never actually kissed Tony during the previous days.

This was their first kiss.

With that in mind, Tony regretted not being more gentle. He should at least have given Bucky some warning. But, before he had time to take a step back and apologize, strong hands settled on Tony's hips and he was pulled flush against Bucky. There was a definite taste of desperation when Bucky deepened the kiss, eager to the point where Tony felt a pinch of sympathy.

Tony clearly wasn't the only one who wanted to cherish this while he had the chance.

Bucky kissed him with a focus and intensity that quickly left Tony breathless, his arms wrapping around Tony as if afraid he'd lose him if he didn't hold on. Tony responded in kind, his fingers wandering into Bucky's hair, tangling into the soft strands, while every ounce of longing he had felt over the past months was dragged to the surface.

Tony couldn't believe he was lucky enough to have this. It might only be his for as long as the days lasted, but that was still more than he ever thought he'd get. Tony wasn't usually one who settled when there were things he wanted, but this was one time when he knew it was better to simply treasure what he was given.

Whatever he got would have to be enough.

Tony didn't know how long the kiss lasted, but he was pretty lightheaded once it ended. Bucky stayed close, his breaths soft against Tony's lips and his hand sliding up along Tony's back. The touch caused a delighted shiver along Tony's spine.

After a trembling exhale, Tony managed to gather enough air to speak.

"Well, that was quite lovely, if I do say so myself."

As he had hoped, the comment made Bucky laugh, if with a hint of fond exasperation.

"Yeah, I definitely don't mind," Bucky murmured in reply. Despite his smile, sadness lingered in his eyes.

Tony's chest squeezed, but he was beginning to see that there was nothing he could do about that — not until the time loop was broken. No matter how much the both of them wanted this, Bucky would lose it come morning. So would Tony, but at least he wouldn't remember it. He wouldn't know what he was missing out on.

The helplessness was suffocating and, not for the last time, Tony wondered if he should tell Bucky that he knew about the time loop. At the same time, he didn't see how that would help. There were things Tony wouldn't have done if he _hadn't_ known, sure, but neither he nor Bucky would gain anything from Tony admitting that. If anything, _not_ telling was the kinder option. At least then Bucky would have one day where he got to kiss Tony and not think as much about the time loop.

Tony would much rather give Bucky some fond memories that might help him during future days.

"I wish I could—" Bucky faltered, his eyes closing.

Tony's hand moved to cup Bucky's cheek. "Wish what?"

Bucky tilted his head, pushing against Tony's hand with a desperation that, once again, caused a twist of sympathy. His lips brushed against Tony's palm, his words tickling against Tony's skin.

"I wish I could have this," Bucky whispered. He still hadn't opened his eyes. "I've been living in the past for so long and I... I want this." His breath trembled. "I want a future."

The words would have been heartbreaking enough without the time loop. But, knowing that Bucky _wanted_ to move forward but was currently unable to was cruel beyond belief. After everything he had been through, this was the last thing Bucky deserved. Had he not suffered enough already?

Tony swallowed around the lump in his throat. "You can," he replied, despite knowing it was partly a lie.

Bucky _probably_ could, the question was just when — how many days he would have to repeat before he found a way to break the time loop. Tony had no doubt that he would be there, though. No matter when or how it happened, he would still be in love with Bucky and they would find some way to make it happen. Bucky would surely not be able to hide his feelings, just like he hadn't been able to today.

Tony would figure it out again and again if he had to.

Bucky let out a choked laugh, clearly not all that comforted by Tony's words. Tony didn't blame him — he didn't know that Tony was aware of the time loop.

"I wish that was true," Bucky whispered.

While Tony could have argued, there was no point. He had no doubt that they would manage to break the time loop at some point, but he had to come to terms with the fact that it probably wouldn't be that day. It was already evening and they hadn't really made any progress. Perhaps that was Tony's fault, for deciding not to help — which definitely caused a rush of guilt — but it was too late to change that now. It was better to commit to the decision he had made earlier.

Right now, that meant giving Bucky what he wanted, if only for a couple of fleeting but precious hours.

With as much gentleness as he could manage, Tony rose onto his tiptoes and pressed a kiss against Bucky's cheek. It was bittersweet, definitely — for them both — but Tony wasn't going to ruin what little time they had left.

"Come on," he said, whispered softly next to Bucky's ear, "I think DUM-E is getting jealous. You should get back to playing with him."

A low, sad laugh was Tony's reward, followed by Bucky's arms wrapping around him in a tight hug. Bucky buried his nose in Tony's hair and, considering the prime opportunity, Tony decided he might as well follow that impulse he'd been struggling with for weeks. With a soft sigh, Tony tucked his face against Bucky's neck and inhaled.

It was just as wonderful at Tony had thought it would be.

* * *

They didn't actually end up doing much that evening. Tony let Bucky set the pace and, clearly, Bucky was more interested in simple closeness than anything else, be it physical or emotional. He kissed Tony frequently, sometimes for minutes at a time, but always pulled back before either of them could take it further than that — still with that heartbreakingly sad look on his face.

The rest of the time, Tony worked lazily on some of his less pressing projects while Bucky played with the bots. It was a quiet evening and, altogether, not a bad one. There was an overhanging sense of loss that grew stronger for each hour that ticked by, granted, but Tony did his best to ignore that. He wanted to enjoy this while he could.

Tony wasn't sure when the time loop would reset. He figured it either happened at midnight or when Bucky fell asleep, but he guessed on the former. Since Bucky was a super soldier, he could stay awake for several days in a row if needed, so odds were it happened automatically, without his consent.

With that in mind, Tony didn't want to stay up too long. He honestly wasn't sure if it would make a difference for Bucky, but Tony decided they should go to bed before the reset happened. It felt like that might be easier for them both if it happened while they were asleep.

Besides, Tony didn't want to pass up on an opportunity to curl up in bed with Bucky.

Not that it was a given that Bucky would want that — this thing between them was still new — but, once asked, Bucky immediately nodded. And, once they actually lay down on Tony's bed, Bucky didn't hesitate to pull Tony into his arms. Again, he buried his nose in Tony's hair, clinging to him with that ever-present desperation.

A lump lodged in Tony's throat and he tried his best to breathe around it. He pressed as close as he could get, struggling against the guilt and helplessness. He wished he could have done more, but, at least for a little while, Tony had been able to give Bucky some peace. If only for a day, Bucky had been given what he wanted.

That wasn't too bad, was it?

"I love you."

Bucky's words were soft in the dark, quiet room, and so frail Tony could feel a telltale burn behind his eyelids. He still wasn't sure if he was actually ready to say the words out loud, but he knew he wouldn't be lying if he did. He knew how he felt and, maybe, Bucky deserved to know as well. He no doubt had several painful days ahead of him and perhaps it would help, knowing that Tony loved him back.

Tony swallowed, deciding he had nothing to lose.

"I love you too."

For a second, Bucky stiffened in surprise. Then, ever so slowly, he began to shake, followed by a hitched breath that broke Tony's heart. Tony pushed even closer, his arm sliding around Bucky's waist, and held on. There wasn't much else he could do, no matter how much it hurt to listen to Bucky's choked sobs.

Tony wished that he could have promised that he would find a solution for all of this, but he wouldn't even remember it later. Tomorrow, he might not even figure out that Bucky was caught in a time loop.

So, in lack of other options, he simply held on, hoping that would offer at least some comfort.

That, maybe, he had given Bucky enough strength to keep going another couple of days.

* * *

It was only once Bucky had stopped crying that Tony was able to drift off to sleep. He was vaguely aware of it happening, but did nothing to stop it. He figured it was just as well — if cowardly.

Quietly falling asleep would be less painful than having to say goodbye.

* * *

Tony made a disgruntled noise as he was pulled from his sleep, not quite sure what had woken him up. But, whatever it was, it could surely wait. He was warm and comfortable, buried in deep under the blankets and with the heavy weight of an arm wrapped around his middle.

Tony had no desire to get out of bed.

He had decided to refuse to do just that when his brain woke up enough to actually register what was going on. Within the next heartbeat, Tony was wide awake, his eyes snapping open.

He was lying on his side, the unmistakable warmth of another body pressed up against his back and a very distinct metal arm curled around him. Tony blinked in disbelief, staring at the arm in question while trying to sort through the thoughts suddenly tumbling around inside his head. Morning sunlight was streaming in through the window, glinting off the metal of Bucky's arm.

While Tony knew exactly what this meant, he wasn't sure if he dared to believe it.

After another couple of seconds, he realized he wasn't the only one. Bucky was lying motionless behind him, barely breathing and clearly awake. Tony twisted as much as he could while pinned in place by a super soldier, finding Bucky's gaze. Bucky stared at Tony, the disbelief as clear on his face as Tony knew it had to be on his own.

"We broke it?" Tony blurted out.

Bucky sucked in a sharp breath. "I— I guess? I don't—"

He didn't get any further before he fell abruptly silent, his eyes widening.

"You _knew_?"

Tony felt a stab of guilt and knew there was no point in lying.

"Yes. But I didn't think we'd manage to break it."

Bucky opened his mouth as if to reply, but no actual words came out. Instead, he kept staring at Tony, clearly not knowing how to react. Tony couldn't blame him, considering what he had just been through. Suddenly not being trapped in the time loop had to be extremely disorienting.

The silence lingered and, after a couple of seconds, Tony dared to smile.

"Welcome back," he said, hopefully soft enough not to startle.

That broke the spell.

Bucky closed his eyes and sucked a sharp breath. It was closer to a sob than anything else, but Tony was certainly not going to judge. Then Bucky curled closer, wrapping himself around Tony and holding on for dear life. It took some maneuvering, but Tony was able to sink one of his hands into Bucky's hair.

"It's okay," Tony whispered. "It's over."

He kept whispering reassurances as Bucky worked through the panic, keeping his voice low. It took minutes, but, slowly but surely, Bucky began to calm down, his breaths evening out as the tension bled out of him. Tony let them remain in silence, wanting to give Bucky as much time as he needed. Things were no doubt going to be interesting from here on out — a lot had happened in one day — but there was no rush.

It took another couple of minutes before Bucky spoke, still clinging to Tony.

"How did you know?"

Tony was tempted to reply something teasing about him being a genius and it being easy, but he refrained. Bucky was understandably shaken and it would be cruel to antagonize him.

"I figured it out," Tony replied. "You were acting strangely all day, so I asked JARVIS to track your movements. Seeing all your good deeds, it was simply a question of putting two and two together."

Granted that Tony hadn't wanted to believe it at first, but that hardly mattered at this stage.

Bucky exhaled, pulling back just enough that he could meet Tony's gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Tony smiled crookedly. "I considered it, but I figured I must have tried that already without much luck. I decided to just be unpredictable instead, and see if that helped."

Bucky shook his head. "You didn't."

That made Tony frown. He shifted to lie on his back, Bucky looking down at him.

"Didn't what?"

"Didn't talk to me about it." Bucky tilted his head to the side, that intense look returning to his eyes. "This is the first time you figured it out on your own, at least that I know of."

Tony blinked. "Huh. I didn't expect that."

What exactly that meant for their success, he wasn't sure. He doubted he was the main reason why the time loop had broken, but he must definitely have played a part. The fact that it ended the day Tony figured it out on his own and behaved differently than he usually would was too big of a coincidence.

"What usually happened?" Tony asked, curious despite himself. It wasn't that he wanted Bucky to have to live through all of that again, but he _really_ wanted to know what had changed.

Bucky swallowed, his gaze settling on Tony's left shoulder. He was clearly uncomfortable, but answered all the same.

"Some days, the entire team got involved." He let out a slow breath. "You all believed me when I told you about the loop. It was easy to prove. But we could never figure out how to stop it. In the end, I just..." He shrugged, meeting Tony's gaze again. "I stopped telling y'all. It was easier to handle than the disappointment. Not just my own, but yours as well. Steve always looked so heartbroken when he couldn't help."

Tony's chest clenched. The thought of Bucky dealing with all of that on his own was devastating.

"So you stopped trying to find a solution?" Tony asked, voice hoarse.

Bucky grimaced and it took him several seconds before he shook his head.

"No, not really. I was just... takin' a break, I suppose." His smile was painfully frail. "I just wanted to..."

He shrugged, clearly not knowing how to end the sentence. Tony was pretty sure he got it, though. After too many attempts to stop the time loop, it was probably easier to just embrace it for a while. Not that it would solve anything, but at least it gave Bucky some room to breathe and perhaps come up with new theories to test out.

"Well, clearly, that was a good thing." Tony smiled up at Bucky. "You managed to break it."

Bucky didn't look convinced.

"Did I really?"

There was fear in his words — understandable fear — and it took some effort for Tony to maintain his smile. Seeing the uncertainty on Bucky's face made his heart ache.

"You really did." Tony reached up, brushing the back of his fingers against Bucky's cheek. "And you have a future now."

As much as Tony would like to be self-centered and assume the breaking of the time loop had to do with him, he suspected it wasn't _just_ that. It would have been romantic, sure, if them confessing their love was what ended the loop, but it probably had more to do with Bucky's realization that he actually _wanted_ a life. That the future was something he was now looking forward to, rather than dreading.

Or, maybe the cosmos just got tired of torturing a man who deserved so much better.

Tony would do his best to figure it out, but now clearly wasn't the time. He could see the doubt and hesitation on Bucky's face and that definitely took priority.

"And, if there are any doubts," Tony said, gently nudging Bucky's chin to get his attention, "I still love you today. That wasn't just a yesterday thing."

Saying the words out loud still made Tony a little nervous, but he could tell that they were needed. Bucky stilled, his breath catching for a second, but, just as quickly, he relaxed again. He still didn't look entirely convinced, but there was a small spark of hope in his eyes.

Tony could work with that.

"I love you too," Bucky said softly, as if the look in his eyes didn't convey that well enough already. No one had ever looked at Tony with so much love and devotion before.

Tony smiled, warmth growing in his chest.

"Good," he said, before gently pulling Bucky down for another kiss.

There were still things they needed to discuss and fallout from the day before that they needed to handle, but, right then and there, Bucky was more important. For now, all that mattered was reassuring Bucky that this really was happening and that they really did have a future together.

A future that would start today.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure I wrote this because of a post I saw on Tumblr about how strange it must be to be caught on the other side of a time loop. That post had a different concept (a significantly more angsty one) but the idea stuck and here we are. I just wanted to give it a try, to explore what that must be like. Turns out Tony was a bad subject, since he went ahead and figured it out without much trouble at all xD
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, anyway! Here's my [Tumblr](https://amethystinawrites.tumblr.com/) if you want to come and say hi! 
> 
> Take care, my lovelies! <3


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